I am going to approach this post a little differently. I am presently reading a dream book that a dear friend bought for me. I’ve only read about 15 pages or so. The night before I had a dream which I remembered when I woke up but I really thought it had no significance because in my mind it was a fairly boring dream compared to what I’m used to. I was reading the book this morning and all of a sudden I started decoding my dream. Something that seemed so boring at the time quickly became quite significant to what was presently happening in my life. Still trying to find out why I dismissed it at first? I’ll describe the dream and then describe the emotions involved in the dream.
Part 1: My husband, my daughter and I are traveling back from an out of town hockey tournament. It is winter. My husband is driving in a car that I don’t recognize as ours. The car is new with fresh smelling interior. Driving on the highway we approach an intersection that doesn’t have a stop light but we have the right of way. It is a large 4 lane highway. Turning left my husband takes a wide turn and in slow motion we start sliding off the highway over the ditch into a snow pile over farming land. No one is hurt. We all start talking like nothing happened. We start to figure out how we will get ourselves and the car out of the snow. Then the dream switches.
Part 2: My son is lost and at a hotel. I contact him through his cell phone and he is speaking to me telling me the story of what happened. He missed his flight home. He said that he wouldn’t be coming home right away. He wanted to be on his own for a little bit. He would be coming home at a later date but didn’t know when. He has no money on his credit card and is asking me to help him. He is supposed to be with us but refused, he wanted to do his own thing. I try helping him by connecting a credit card but for some reason it wouldn’t work.
Feelings associated with the dream:
Part 1: When we are traveling from hockey we are all happy and getting along quite well. There are no issues. The car felt safe. The intersection was large and sometimes feels a little overwhelming to drive, fast pace, but no fears. The intersection with no stop light seemed a little confusing to me but not enough to keep questioning it. When my husband is turning left all I can keep thinking about is oh boy here he goes, it bugs me when he takes such wide turns. Then when we land up in the snow all I kept thinking was oh well it’s a mistake, no big deal. Being in the car with them felt very calm, there was no panic involved just thinking about the next steps.
Part 2: My son being lost at the hotel made me feel very uneasy, like he isn’t ready for this. I felt scared for him but he himself was quite calm and comfortable with what happened. He was concerned more with me supporting him and providing money to help him. I had these feelings of letting go. I was really concerned for his safety.
Details of what was happening in my life:
I have a friend who I have became extremely close friends with sharing every part of our life together. We both have families of our own but always managed to make time for each other consistently. I have been struggling with this friendship that truly means a lot to me. Recently we have had some disagreements that left both of us drifting apart. We were always reflecting off of each other. We were as open as two people can possibly be. For me this felt like there was always something wrong with one of us. I’m such a positive person and struggled with this. I felt like my energy was being sucked away all the time. It also felt like it was becoming monotonous, boring, always cycling in emotions. Frankly it really felt exhausting to me. I felt like I was being needed too much and I encouraged that we explore some things on our own to grow independently. This is no ordinary friendship, this is more of a twin soul connection relationship. If any of you know what I’m talking about its quite intense. We were able to connect with each other through our minds and even at long distances. We tested it out a few times. We were able to know what each other was thinking and feeling. Talk about not being able to hide. There is no hiding in this relationship. Maybe that’s why at times I felt trapped and like I was being suffocated? When you know each other’s waking moments, thoughts and feelings, it’s like you are sharing yourself with someone else. Scary at times, YES! As I write this I now see why I was pulling away too, it’s very hard to be that close to someone when you’ve been alone in your head all your life. I’ve always been the type of person that needed my space, that’s why my husband and I are such a great couple. We both get this concept. We are married and have been for a long time, 16 years to be exact, but we also know that we are separate individuals as well.
So here goes nothing…..lol So the question is why did I not see the significance of the dream, why did it seem so boring to me and not of great importance and why was I willing to dismiss it so quickly. Well the boring is coming from how I’ve been feeling about the relationship lately. I’ve lost interest. I didn’t see the significance because I’m honestly hiding and not wanting to see this connection for what it is. I want to dismiss it because I need time alone in my head. I don’t want to always share and is that okay well frankly I’m not 100% sure. Otherwise why has this relationship come into my life? Is this my escape route? Or am I just setting boundaries for myself? I tend to believe more that I’m creating boundaries for myself…..which means I’m actually starting to put myself first. I’ve recognized something that didn’t feel right to me and that I was being affected.
Looking at the dream it definitely represent our friendship and the recent troubles we are experiencing. Part 1 represents how I feel about myself right now. I’m really in a happy place, I feel calm even though my life sometimes can be a little hectic. I’m accepting of my mistakes, I look at them and try to figure them out but I don’t dwell on them and they don’t trouble me. That is shown while driving the car and sliding into the snow. The other people in the car represent the positive people I have in my life, because that’s how I feel about my family. In our dreams we relate with how we connect with certain people that can grab our attention. The significance of my family is important that’s why they appeared in my dream. They are my support system. Part 2 represents my friendship. My son was used because I have always looked out for him, felt that he needed extra guidance and support. He has Asperger’s, I’ve done a lot of coaching, guiding and teaching him the way to be socially accepted. My son represents how I feel about my friend. I want to help guide and support her but at more of a distance. One side of me fears letting go and the other side says that I’m comfortable with this and its time. I won’t stay distant for long and I’ll always be there no matter what because that’s the kind of bond we have developed. I need to explore and be on my own to discover who I am.
What an amazing discovery! At the beginning I truly thought the dream was half about me and half about my friend but not my feelings hers. How wrong was I. See the further you dig the more you discover, our dreams really do reflect everything about us. I remember asking a little while ago how come I don’t remember a lot of my dreams when I wake up. I wanted to remember, low and behold it started happening, almost nightly! I can’t possibly share them all. Shortly after that a dear friend bought me the dream book I am reading, and today I made a discovery about a dream that I really thought had no significance. It’s amazing how the universe lines things up for you. I am so blessed to make all these connections with people that continuously challenge my growth and inspire me to continue.