WEEK#3 Nude Yoga Challenge
First off FEAR is a big factor in today’s post. As a young teenager when I was sexually abused by my boss he instilled fear beyond belief that it took me 30 years to tell my story. My whole teenage and adult life revolved around fear and lack of trust. The first person I learnt to trust was my husband. The fear that people were talking about me behind my back, the fear that I was constantly being judged by others continuously, i was not worthy, I had no voice. So much that I had these unrealistic expectations of myself because in my eyes I needed to be perfect. So when I looked at myself and didn’t see perfection it was constantly a way to beat myself up. So this weeks session really opened my eyes to my patterns of negative self talk. We get into the studio I undress and was much more comfortable being naked and having someone look at me. Each picture we took I was disgusted with myself. I literally said nope take another one, nope take another one several times not liking any of them. I was looking for perfection. Then Dani said, Nicole I have an idea let’s get you into the silks because that always seems to change your mood and direction of thoughts. Low and behold I get into the silk and like magic she showed me the picture and I couldn’t believe it was me. Dani told me not to get rid of the other pictures and to sit with them and pick something I liked out of each one. After repeatedly looking at the pictures I began to see something else, I began to accept and see my own beauty for what it was. I talked about my cellulite and how challenged I am with this weeks photos because they are much more revealing. I learned through talking with other women that most women when they squeeze their butt cheeks have dimples, this is normal and okay. I was so reluctant on posting a few of these photos because of my imperfections which was all the more reason why I needed to post all of them this week. Because I DIDN’T WANT TOO! Doing the opposite allows you to move forward into acceptance. I’m breaking free and loving every minute of it!