Fully Exposed

This week was full of the heightened anxiety of holiday rushes, people, trying to get things done with no headway.  I have learned to let go of a lot.  If things get done they get done and if they don’t then I guess they don’t.  This holiday will come and go like every other one.  I really can’t do it all and really starting to forgive myself for that.  I’m not any less of a person because I physically can not accomplish the expectations I put on myself.  You see we are our biggest critics that cause suffering and heaviness on our shoulders.  Learning to let go of pleasing everyone, letting go of trying to understand everyone.  I can’t fix it all, I can’t make everyone happy and feel good about themselves, because all of this takes away from seeing what I need to feel happy and good about myself.  This weeks pictures were so enlightening!  Backbending is what I hate and I challenged it head on by facing the pain and resistance.  I lit myself up rejoycing, embracing the light of coming alive.  In a couple of the pictures Dani said Nicole look at this you have orbs all around your head.  There was such a great presence in the room supporting me through every moment.  The switch came this week as I laid there in the aerial silk Dani would show me the pics and I loved them all and she kept looking for the perfect one.  I was like they are so beautiful Dani, I love them all…what a switch.   The reflection was huge this week coming off of last week where I felt so caught up in shifting towards the false attachment of what kind of attention I was receiving towards my posts.  I literally had to put the ego aside and have a little chat, get back to the roots and what all this is really about.  Learning to find myself and even if one person along the way benefits from this then its a total win win situation.  I feel so proud that I broke free and truly kept the authenticity of this challenge real.  Even though sometimes we feel like we are going backwards we truly are moving forward because new discoveries come up and I allowed myself to go there without judgement.  I put up the pictures in the yoga studio this week and had some huge fears attached.  Fears of being judged and not receiving approval.  I discovered that all I need is my approval, these represent something so big and they have been truly life changing.  I’ve realized that if others feel challenged by them then that is their work and reflection that needs to be looked at and not mine to take on.  I had to remind myself again to stand tall and understand I can’t fix everyone.  When we hold limiting beliefs or judgements on others it means that there is something that we need to possibly look within ourselves.  Sometimes we really need to evaluate what acceptance of all truly stands for, can we really go there?  I’ve seen myself do this before where I say I support all causes and I am open and free, but only to catch myself in a moment of honesty where I have passed judgement only to understand that the situation made me uncomfortable with myself.  So thats where the true learning comes from when we go there and challenge those thoughts.  What kind of merit do they actually have or is it a belief that we have developed that keeps us from growing or challenging ourselves to move forward?  Just something to think about the next time you just can’t see past something that challenges you 🙂  Much love my friends, stay honest with yourself this holiday season ❤