Fully Exposed

This past full moon was the biggest in the amount of change and energy. I really felt me shift from a place of feeling like there was so much happening around me that I didn’t understand why to a place of understanding with such reassurance of knowing I really do have all the answers and the power to change. It is remarkable what I learnt about myself this past week. I went to the most amazing drum circle and something happened there that kick started and opened this whole new world of seeing for me. On the drive there I had such a realization come through that one of my friends brought to my attention. We were talking about the history of our lives and what drives us into the ways we make ourselves suffer in life. The big topic of discussion was rejection. The need to have chaos in our lives to make things normal even though we don’t enjoy it. Subconsciously we look for it to thrive, it’s something familiar to us. I realized that night my pain and suffering comes in so many different forms and how I’ve put myself into these experiences where it will allow me to feel suffering whether it be mental or physical just so that I don’t have to see what’s really under that layer. So much belief in my mind that I deserve that. My therapist also made me realize how deep it went that I didn’t realize how toxic and disturbing the situation really was. I was completely blinded and only consumed by how the word rejection made me feel as opposed to what was really happening behind the scenes of rejection. I was in so deep that I couldn’t see beyond that. That one moment where it completely flipped was when my therapist brought to my mind a brand new scenario within that rejection I could not see. When we feel rejected we beat ourselves up, we make the situation that we were in look even better than it actually was. It becomes like forbidden fruit which makes us want it even more when ultimately we know it really isn’t good for us. This is all my doing, I did this and allowed it to happen. I’ve finally unlocked and saw the self sabotage feature within my brain. Even friends I’ve often been drawn to people that I know ultimately really aren’t the right people for me but I continue to seek out their approval and friendship because it’s a way of suffering for me. This whole suffering and pain concept has really opened my world to discovering who I really am and what I want and who I want to surround myself with. We have to realize that our vibrations with other people and life in general, don’t allow us to ride the same waves in the sea. I’m sure I’ll be tested and shown again how to stay true to myself. These lessons are a lifetime experience. Today’s picture is about the full moon, I gave you a full moon 🤣. Seriousness all aside it is a deep expression of seeing a flipped perspective and this time being very aware and grounded by the experience. Seeing the power and worth I truly have. When we look beyond the situation we can read between the lines and catch the whole picture. I believe I am ready to surrender to all this pain and suffering by seeing and believing my true worth. What challenges have you faced with the full moon this past week? I want to hear more. As always much love Nicole xoxo