Fully Exposed

Rising from the trenches. Seeing and believing I am part of the greater good of this universe. I attended a 1/2 day chakra journey workshop that made me realize so many things about myself. You know when you say things and actually think you understand them until you receive the message in a different way and you have this huge ah ha moment and you say to yourself I fully understand this. In part of the workshop Lana discussed judgement and how impactful it is, so when we judge ourselves in a negative way we are judging the world and others in a negative way. At that moment I had such a profound realization of love towards myself. I understood the impact of self judgement and how debilitating it is and how hurtful it can be towards our beautiful souls. We live in a life where judgement is upon us everywhere, whether it be while you are driving somewhere and someone does something you don’t approve of or someone is wearing something that attracts your attention in a negative way etc. the list can go on forever. I’m seeing myself transform right before my eyes and I’m actively seeing my ways with so much more compassion. It is so true, the very fact that we are so hard on ourselves makes sense that we would judge others. Many times I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t judgmental, I’m an open and caring person only realizing that I was just tricking myself so I could stay right where I was happy doing what I was doing sabotaging myself and being okay with that because I didn’t have to face the fact that I was being judgemental. What a profound discovery but so much new found love for myself. As I strolled through the week I was continuously being reminded of being open to the idea of giving myself a break when I felt I didn’t meet up to my expectations. As Thursday approached I woke feeling like today I was going to have a panic attack and what would that look like. For the morning I warded it off and then it struck and I wasn’t surprised. Okay this is how it’s going to go, I can push through this with some acceptance or I can lead myself down the road of terror. For the first time I just embraced the panic and didn’t make judgement I just rolled with it the best I could. I was able to see it for what it was and nothing more. Just ride it out and like every other time this has happened it has an ending…thank goodness for that! Often times we see many challenges as unattainable or we sit in the displeasure and ignore what it is trying to teach us. This is trying to teach me something. How to cope and learn acceptance. This weeks photos truly do represent my growth even though I believe at times I’m moving backwards I’m always moving forward. I have really been trying to take good care of myself, honouring what I truly need in moments when I can’t figure out the why. It’s not always about the why, it’s about breaking free and just accepting what is and how can I honour myself in the moment. It’s beyond survival mode it’s a greater understanding of our needs and how can we meet them with compassion. I just love this pose and even the fact that I didn’t know what pose I should do in the silks so I asked Becky one of our exchange staff, her eyes lit up as always when it comes to the silks, she says you should do this. She just intuitively knew, what an amazing experience. April the photographer said I really want to play with some lighting and shadowing on this one. Dani was the assistant and held lighting and moved things around. It all came together in a team effort and support. Just so well rounded when you think about it. That’s what we need, a true and tried support system that will always have your best interest at heart. This world is a wonderful place to live. I can do this, we can all do this, together we form unity. As always, much love Nicole xoxo