Fully Exposed

This was a big week. I got to see my neurosurgeon and finally get some answers. Bionic woman I will call myself. Urgent surgery in the next few weeks, rods and screws to hold my spine in better alignment. He will be working on L2-S1 and another disc replacement. Its finally happening, all this waiting and excruciating pain will come to an end. I want to know and feel what it is like to live without pain. So this week is about celebration and preparation. As I open my arms and shine my heart to higher power thanking the universe for making this happen. I’ve been working really hard to open myself up, see through all and understand my calling and rejoice in the fact of living. I’m preparing, preparing for the biggest life change. I can say I haven’t felt an ounce of it yet. I haven’t cried, I’m not scared but I’m truly excited. I keep asking myself if I am missing something. Why is it that I don’t feel anything but happiness. Is it because that’s all I am really supposed to feel? I’ve been hyperactive busy, preparing everything around me so that I will be able to rest without feeling anxious knowing there is stuff to do. I rest so much better and feel so much peace when I know things are taken care of, the cleaning is done, my projects that I started have been completed and now I can truly rest and recover. Last time was a shock, it was unexpected, and everything happened so fast. This time I get to prepare and enjoying every minute of it. I am allowing myself to see the gifts, hear the messages and find myself at ease. Loving life a little more each day, having more energy to do things. The heaviness is lifting and I see this through my increased energy to want to do things, to want to be up and about even when I have pain, spend time talking with my children, spending time with my husband and friends. My vibration is floating and I can see myself in a simpler way. Moving away from the unimportant things, items, people. Do you ever find yourself just thinking? Thinking about where you are, what you are doing? Does life make you happy at this present moment regardless of what is happening around you. As I start to think more about the surgery I recall a conversation I had with someone in regards to my body changing again. I referred to myself as the michiline man after I had surgery and all the swellingI had all over my body, I truly did look like the michiline man. My friend Ruby said to me but that’s not who you are. That swelling will go away, reach in and connect with that amazing soul that shines so brightly. I didn’t feel the impact of that conversation until now. In those moments sometimes we get so caught up with the physical aspect of things we forget about how unique and wonderful we really are on the inside. I am so happy she reminded me of that and in those moments when I do get caught up in the physical I can remind myself that this isonly temporary. I’ve gone through this already, you know that in these moments that’s when we really need to connect within more. Search for that love and light, know your existence is so much more than what we think. Our purpose is so much more than what we know. We are divine living beings here to serve a purpose and learn so many lessons for ourselves and others. Ask yourself are you living your best life and are you being true to yourself. Today I chose me and I will tomorrow too. Much Love Nicole xoxo